The Official Student Handbook of Crushology

Crushwarts

Crushwarts

The Official Student Handbook of Crushology

A one-year course on the spells, potions, and fantastic creatures (that populate your screens and daydreams)

Your celebrity crush isn’t just a crush. He’s a research project. An enigma. An art. And this notebook is the ultimate HQ for all fangirls who have decided to take their passion very, very seriously.
This is not just a notebook. It’s a magical artifact. Crushwarts: The Official Student Handbook of Crushology is an interactive guide that will plunge you into the heart of a magic school unlike any other.
Have you always known your obsession was a science? That analyzing an Instagram story was a form of divination? That every “like” was a clue? Then, welcome home. The Crushwarts Academy of Obsessive Sorcery is finally opening its doors to you.

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The magic of obsession is powerful. Are you ready to master it?

This grimoire is your acceptance letter. Your place has been waiting for you. Prepare your wand (your scrolling finger) and your cauldron (your phone). The school year is about to begin.

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As the new Head Prefect, Headmistress Humblecrushdore entrusts you with a sacred mission: to fill the Great Register of Hearts. Analyze, sort, and catalog every “student” who has ever made your heart race. Every page of this notebook is a new lesson, a new tool to understand, celebrate, and survive the complex art of Crushology.

In this official manual, you won’t just read; you will act. Take the Great Sorting Ceremony Quiz to discover your true house. Are you a loyal Gryffindorable, an ambitious Slytherhot, a faithful Hufflecute, or an intellectual Crushclaw? Learn to brew potions from your crushes’ “ingredients” (a smirk, a deep voice…). Master the essential spells of ethical stalking and defend yourself against the dark creatures of fandom, the “Crush-Eaters.” Learn the art of “Story-mancy,” survive attacks from “Detractors,” and learn to defend your “problematic crushes.”

(This book is a parody and is not affiliated with Nintendo® or Pokémon®.)

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Tired of feeling lonely?

WANNA DISCOVER YOUR NEW SCHOOL?

WELCOME!

NO JUDGMENT ZONE

Your friends are tired of hearing about your Celebrity Crush. We are not.

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